The Long Goodnight
by MAVEN Hisakawa
Summary: After the fall of Naraku, Sesshomaru left Rin in the care of Kaede back in the human village. It was to protect her, to give her a good, normal human life and to live out her days amongst her people. And perhaps that wasn't what she wanted, but to the him, her safety trumps all. He didn't want to endanger her life anymore. So what happens to Rin after her lord left never came back?


She loved him. Always have, always will.

From the very first time she saw him, he was like a god - beautiful and untouched by time, powerful and confident. He was the one person she looked up to; the only one that she ever admired. He had everything, from skill, to talent, to luck, to power, to beauty. He was _perfect_. While most people shy away from things they believe to be out of their league, Rin did the opposite: she stuck as close to him as he'd allow, following his every step and obeying his every whim and call. Not that he ever abused it - in fact, Sesshomaru hardly ever asked anything of her, outside mundane commands like wait patiently in one place till he returned or to change her dirty clothes whenever she forgot. She wished she could do more for him, but over time, she understood him better. His aloof behavior was normal and he cared for her, that much she knew.

After the fall of Naraku, her Lord Sesshomaru seemed to have lost something - a goal. Watching him now, he seemed unsure and uncertain, like he didn't know what's there for him to do. According to Jakken, it was because he was lost. Before the whole thing started, he was adamant to destroy Inuyasha and he lived every day with that goal in mind, and so that was his drive. But Inuyasha had beaten him, and so he made it a point to get vengeance and reclaim what he thought was rightfully his: the Tetsusaiga. When it became clear their father's intent, he sought to further Tetsusaiga's other half, Tensaiga, and soon after, he made it a goal to defeat Naraku. But now that all that is done, the demon lord hadn't yet picked up a new goal to work for. His kingdom remained strong and the South, East, and North had sworn allegiance to him after new spread of Naraku's fall and Sesshomaru's primary involvement in the front lines of the battle. His names rang terror to the lesser demons and awe to the more powerful ones: in fact, he had already surpassed his great father before him. When you life goals have all been accomplished, what's left to do?

The little girl didn't know the answer, but she wished her lord would figure it out soon. In fact, she was confident he would.

It came as a mild surprise to her when he announced his decision to leave her in the village as he attended to other matters. At the back of her mind, she saw it coming, truth be told. She knew he wanted her to be safe, and where else would be safer than a village full of former allies? So she obeyed, watching him walk away gracefully like he always did, knowing he'll come back again for her someday.

* * *

The first year was tough.

She missed him... _a lot_.

Jakken had come by twice to visit and bring her expensive gifts, both times telling tall tales of her lord's adventures and how they vanquished a whole army of demons to further expand their territory near the coasts. The imp spoke of the demon's plan to take back the other territories and create one, central demon city to build his new castle. Rin was, of course, happy for her lord. The sooner he accomplishes this new goal of his, the sooner he'd be back, right?

"Will Lord Sesshomaru come and visit soon, Master Jakken?"

"Silly girl! Lord Sesshomaru is far too busy to just come by whenever you want! Conquering demon armies take a lot of time and effort, and the master needs to invest a lot of his time on this goal! He has no time to waste on vacations to human villages!"

That was fair enough. Despite the imp's insensitive choice of words, she knew he was right. And so she smiled and waited like she's been told, watching hopefully as the imp walked out the village into the dark night.

* * *

It seems the waiting had started to be slightly easier the more the years passed.

It's been 5 years since she's seen the demon lord last. It was around this age that the innocent love and admiration she had for her lord had blossomed into something more permanent - more intense. After living and breathing for him for years now, she had come to realize her admiration was more than just for loyalty and gratitude: it was _love_. She loved him. She was _in love_ with him. And she understood just what that meant.

She's 13 now, and had just entered adolescent years. She had grown taller and her body had began to change. Even Jakken, who came every couple months, had noticed the distinguishing changes in her appearance.

It seems that Sesshomaru, wherever he was, didn't miss this new transition. His gifts had changed. The dolls turned into jewelry and perfume, and the kimonos had grown to be more tastefully picked for a woman, not a child. He sent items he had never sent before: accessories and make-up reserved for aristocratic women that lived in nobility. The women in the village watched in awe as the items were unveiled from a cart dragged by the two-headed beast, Ah-Uhn, who made his occasional appearance with Jakken every once in a while.

But again, no Lord Sesshomaru.

According to Jakken, the new palace had just began construction. All the 4 demon territories are now united under one roof, and are looking to expand their reach further out into the sea, to the places beyond the vast waters. _It's a big world out there_ , he says. The lord deserves them all. So again, she waited and watched as both the imp and the beast walked away, dragging behind an empty cart, into the deep woods.

* * *

It's been 13 years.

Rin is 21 now. She's fully matured into a wonderful, beautiful, talented, and well-respected adult. She was a fine warrior, trained by Sango herself, a talented healer, apprenticed by no other than the now-departed Kaede, and a blossoming priestess, taught and nurtured by the famous Kagome. She was a jack-of-all-trades; a human that mingled in the world between humanity and demons. She was kind as she was beautiful - and beautiful was an understatement. Rin had grown taller than most women of her age. She had long, ebony black hair that reached all the way down her hips, a petite frame with voluptuous curves highlighted beautifully by her well-tone physique, full, red lips, and dark, brown eyes that shined stars. She was built like a priced noblewoman and captured the eyes and heart of many.

Throughout that time, even Jakken started showing less and less. She still received gifts though, on an almost scheduled basis of once a month, when she'd wake up to a cart full of expensive items in front of Kaede's household, where she resides. It would seem that whoever delivered the gifts simply leaves them there and leave as soon as the items are dropped off. She'd still see Jakken maybe once or twice a year, maybe thrice if she's lucky. And like always, he'd talk of fights and epic battle the lord has won, and the glory he'd been acquiring during his lengthy absence.

But this time, he bears a different story.

The lord Sesshomaru is looking to wed another. Now that his kingdom has been established, he needs an heir to continue his legacy, and according to the old imp, only the finest demon women would do. She needs to be beautiful, powerful, alluring, charismatic - much like the lord's very own mother.

Rin's heart sank.

She knew, long ago, that this time would come. And at the back of her mind, she hoped he'd come back and sweep her off her feet. Watching Inuyasha and Kagome and their happy little family had given her hope of the taboo. In her daydreams, she pictured him returning to her, pressing his lips against her own, and taking her to live with him in this new world he's creating. But after 13 years of waiting, he's never so much as visited.

The imp kept talking, describing the brides he thought was best suited to wed his lordship and bear his future children. Rin had started zoning out in her own mental dystopia, watching her own imagination play out a scenario in which she stood there watching as the man she loves wed another, without so much as acknowledging her undying feelings. Her heart throbbed. Tears pushed itself into the corners of her eyes but she fought hard to keep the happy facade on. The last thing she needs is to break down now.

* * *

Rin is 30 now. It's been a long 22 years since she's last heard from the silver-haired demon lord. Her prime is starting to fade as she slowly inched towards her upcoming golden years. Jakken came by rarely now, perhaps once every year, if she's lucky. Occasionally, Ah-Uhn would come by but he never stayed long. Th gifts still came, but they've started to change yet again. Gold items came more frequently and expensive porcelain, antique figurines, and rare collectibles seemed to have joined the recent packages. After all these years, Rin had amassed a fortune from the demon lord's gifts, but one she openly shared throughout the village, leaving them prosperous and rich. Their little farming village had soon became a bustling business town, one that attracted foreigners from all the lands for their unique decision to co-exist with passive demons and even live amongst them. And of course, the bachelorette was regarded a noble philanthropist in this newly blooming city.

Kohaku got married in the last few months. It was late, by everyone's standards, but they were happy for him. He found love with a local farm girl in the neighboring village. They wed after 2 years of seeing each other and everyone came to the wedding. It was beautiful and heartfelt, filled with smiles and congratulations. Deep inside, she envied him. She hoped that perhaps, one day, she'll get to experience the same level of bliss in front of the altar with the man she loves.

Last she's heard from Jakken, the topic of the lord's marriage seemed to be actively avoided, and while she wanted to press on to know, part of her didn't want to verify that Sesshomaru had decided to wed a woman that wasn't her. In the back of her mind, she's still waiting - waiting for the day he'll come back for her, when the time is right. Despite the imp's open refusal to discuss of demon lord's relationships, he was adamant to know of hers, to which she simply responded she has yet to find the right man, and is still waiting for him to come along. He dropped the topic entirely after that, and came back to bragging about his role in his master's new army.

* * *

Another 15 years had passed. 37 years now, and Rin had just turned 45.

The price of her youthful beauty, it turned out, was fertility. How ironic it is, to call this part of her life her _"Golden Years"_. At a regarded early age of 45, she had reached her menopause stage, permanently closing the door to a family of her own, behind her. Childless and unmarried, the black-haired female was alone, surrounded by children of old friends in a mansion that housed her for a few years now. Jakken had stopped visiting entirely, but she still hears of a beautiful, silver-haired demon that roams the land of the west from visiting travelers. From the rumors, she hears oh him as a bachelor still, instilling false hopes and shattered dreams in her long-broken heart. For 37 years now, she's been waiting, and for 37 years, he never came back. How she wished she could stop herself from waiting, but even as she tried, she never could, for even in her dreams at night, all she could see was his face, smiling at her, asking her to wait. And so she did, even after the tears started rolling down her cheeks and heart heart heaved nothing but heartbreak and sorrows.

Loving someone, it turned out, hurts more than any physical pain she could imagine. And oh, did she wish she could stop loving the ghost of man from her past, bound to likely never come back. But she couldn't. She was bound to him, now and for all of eternity.

The gifts still continued as they did all these years though, just like clock-work.

* * *

10 years passed yet again.

At 55 years old, after 47 years, Rin had aged significantly. Long as it's always been, her once black locks now shined silver. Her perfect skin now showed signs of age as wrinkles formed under her eyes and around her lips. Her once tone physique was slowly becoming nothing more than skinny. Her posture was no longer perfect and she had began to feel the wrath of time. Her joints ached. She tire easier than she did before. She got sick far easier, and she had lost her energy. The new world doctors had told her to work less and take it easy - she was well beyond wealthy already. She had a long list of health problems, it would seem, that cannot be fixed as easily as she would hope. But still, she kept going. Being idle and lamenting on her shattered heart was a far worse fate than dying of illness. Working as a priestess and an ambassador of peace and co-existence with demon kind, she continued on with her labor, vanquishing troublemakers from the town in Kagome's stead. Afterall, the _miko_ was older and suffered more than she did. It's a painful sight, watching Inuyasha's pained face as he watches his beloved age faster than he does. Demon blood apparently gave the _hanyou_ , while not an almost-immortal lifespan, a life far much longer than Kagome would have lived for. Approaching her 70's and definitely looking the part, Kagome looked almost like Inuyasha's mother, who stayed relatively young throughout the years. He aged though, but not to the same extent. He looked around mid 30's in the human age.

Miroku had passed away by then. An illness took his life early, and while Sango was heartbroken, she recovered. They had their children watching over her and her friends are there for support. It was at this time of her life that her old friends had started to decline in health and age. Humans, after all, are so fragile.

Alas, 47 years and still no Lord Sesshomaru. At this point, even the rumors seemed to have stopped. She worried that her lord might have been hurt - or worse, killed - but Inuyasha, who'd grown wiser over time, reassured her it was impossible for him to die and them not hear about it. A conqueror of his stature is watched by many - friends and foe. He wouldn't just pass away without no one noticing. If something were to happen to him, it would be controversy and there would be chaos between demons trying to take his place; after all, the silver-haired demon had no heir, and his empire would be up for grabs. It made sense to the old priestess, so it made her feel better.

It helped her keep going forward.

The gifts still came, but at a slower pace. What once came month-to-month was reduced to once every 2 or 3 months, but in much, _much_ bigger quantities. Antiques from both human and demon worlds came in carriages brimming with gold and expensive jewels. So much treasure, and yet, after all these years, Rin still didn't have much of a use for them. She was never materialistic, and while she splurged on occasional living items, most of her wealth went into bettering the town or to charity. While she's grateful for his gift, Rin wished Sesshomaru realized it wasn't the items she wanted most: it was _him_.

* * *

Another 15 years.

At the age of 70, the old woman is at her deathbed. She's had a good, long life. Lonely as it may been, she was never truly alone. She had friends by her side that were much like family to her - though most of them had passed away at this point. Inuyasha and Shippo were the only one left of their original group, not counting the children and grandchildren that had come over the years. Inuyasha looked older now, 50's perhaps. He aged much slower than the humans but much faster than demons. At least he'll be around to protect his children and grandchildren longer.

The clock ticked. Her lids were heavy and breathing hurt. Everything felt much colder than they were. She looked like how you would expect a sick, dying woman to look: her hair - long, white, dry, thinned and scarce, draped on her shoulders. Her skin was pale and she was skinny. Her skin hung on her bones with seemingly no flesh in between. Her lips had long lost it's color and her eyes no longer sparkle with life like they once did. Her joints were stiff and something as simple as turning her head in bed tired her out. Eating was a chore and chewing was work. She could do no more than just sleep the days away, waiting ultimately for her demise. But she knew she needn't wait much longer - death is coming for her, and she welcomed it with open arms. She was tired and she wanted her well-deserved rest.

Rin's last day was bleak. It rained and stormed and flooded - it was as if the world is crying out for the upcoming loss of a friend. She lay in bed alone, her eyes closed as she listened to the pounding raindrops against the glass window of her room, the chaos outside giving her sense of calm and peace. She was slipping away, fading slowly into the realm of the afterlife, and so for the last time, she opened her eyes to see the world right before she goes.

And there he was.

He looked exactly the way she remembered - long, shiny silver hair, flawless pale skin, sharp gold eyes that seem to see right through her soul, a confident physique that gives off a sense of otherworldly elegance. It seemed that unlike Inuyasha, his full-blooded brother remained untouched by time, young as he had always been. He sat quietly at the foot of her bed, watching her with that piercing gaze she admired so much. She would have reached out to him, but her strength eluded her - she was running out of time, and for the first time, she fought the eternal sleep that had began creeping up on her consciousness in an effort to stay just a little while longer with her lord. She waited for him all her life for many, _many_ years - she didn't want to leave now that he had finally come back to her. She didn't want to leave him.

He seemed to have know. Perhaps, those piercing eyes could tell the turmoil in her heart. He reach out a pale, cold hand to her face, brushing a stray hair away from her dark, brown eyes.

"I'm here now...", he said.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. She's longed to hear those words for so long, what an irony it is to finally come true just right by her deathbed. She wanted to speak, she wanted to tell him she missed him, _she wanted to tell him she loved him_ \- but alas, she couldn't. How painful it is to be so close yet so far away - he was within her reach, and yet she couldn't touch him. He could hear her and yet she couldn't speak. There was so many things she wanted to tell him still but her voice was no more and her body is soon to follow. Her life is fading away.

But he understood. He knew. He's always known. The demon lord had always watched over her, even when she didn't know.

"Rest now", he added, carefully taking a frail hand onto one of his, wiping the tears off her cheeks with another. It's been so long since he's last seen here, although the years to him had flown like days. She's changed so much yet stayed so similar over the years that showed her no mercy. But it didn't matter. Time meant nothing to him when it came to his Rin.

"I'll be here when you wake up. It's my turn to wait."

She tried to smile, but she wasn't sure if it showed. She was tired. She wanted to be with him longer, but she doubt she could fight the drowsiness longer. It was heavy and overbearing, and it weighed on her more than she could carry. Her eyes closed and darkness finally took over. But just before the last of her consciousness faded away, she felt the touch of his soft lips on her forehead. A memory she'll forever cherish in this world and the next.

 _"Goodnight, my Rin..."_


End file.
